


My Little Heaven

by DevouredbyFandoms



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 07:51:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11031837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DevouredbyFandoms/pseuds/DevouredbyFandoms
Summary: A little one-shot I came up with.  First time I've written in a year.  Grab a tissue.*A man can only take so much loss.*Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.  ~William Shakespeare





	My Little Heaven

Tires squealed into the driveway, braking harshly with the front bumper coming within a whisper of the closed garage door. He jumped out of the car, slamming the door behind him and without a second’s pause he raced down the front walk, straight to the front door. Every instinct and urge in him wanted to put a shoulder to the door and ram it open, but this door, he couldn’t. Releasing a deep breath, he dug through the key ring to find the right one. His hands were shaking as he struggled to get the key in the lock.

“Damn it!” He grumbled as he tried to look through the slats of the door. Suddenly, the key slipped in place and he pushed it open so hard it slammed against the wall and back towards him. But, he was already gone.

The house was dark, all the lights were off, curtains drawn, as was normal in the middle of the night. At least in most houses. This house was different. This house was his and something had gone wrong. Horribly wrong.

Dean stood at the bottom of the staircase and for a moment he just froze, his heart racing so loudly that it was all he could hear. He listened. Scuffling from upstairs sent the hairs up on the back of his neck. Silently, he moved up the staircase, taking three at a time, moving past the landing and up to the top. Another pause, holding his breath, he listened again, hearing a noise from the far bedroom, his heart skipped a beat and he ran to the far bedroom door. 

He hesitated, only for a fraction of a second, just long enough for the last year to flash through his mind, all that had happened, and all that he had prayed wouldn’t happen. When he opened the door, he found the room completely dark, apart from a small butterfly night light. It reflected against the crib and rocking chair, highlighting the zoo animal mobile that stood motionless. Beside the crib was a man, featureless in the shadows, holding a baby. 

Dean knew who the shadow was instantly and his panic rose. He shouldn’t be here.

“What?” Was all he could get out, breathless as if on the edge of a cliff.

“Dean.”

Hits breaths deepened as he began to quickly shake his head. “No, no, no…”

“I’m sorry.”

Dean rushed towards the man and just stood there, looking down at the baby in his arms. The baby who was quiet, still. She was sleeping, Dean told himself. She’s asleep.

“I tried to get here in time.”

His breathing hitched. He felt dizzy, the room was spinning and his world was collapsing around him. He looked up to the man with tear filled eyes. “No,” he whispered.

The man’s eyes were soft and full of pain. They spoke what he didn’t want to hear. What he couldn’t hear. It was instant, the well of anger that shot to the surface. Years of anger and rage, of injustice and abuse. Years of winning some battles, but never the war. 

“NO!” He screamed at the man, his hands clenched in fists beside him. He glanced around, he wanted to throw something, to put something through the window, to scream at the world how much he hated being a part of it. The hand on his shoulder caught him by surprise and the fountain of fury was gone just as fast as it had risen. 

“I’ve failed you, again, Dean.”

Dean considered those blue eyes and could see how deep the pain and loss was to him too. He shook his head. 

“I don’t blame you Cas, you’ve done more than I could ever ask for, for us.”

Cas outstretched his arms and gently passed the baby over to Dean. Stepping back, he again blended into the shadows and waited.

Dean looked away from the peaceful face. Instead, he focused on the butterfly night light that he had bought for her, it was the first addition to the nursery, back when him and Sammy had no idea what they were going to do with a baby. On the nightstand was a picture of her and her mom, a young sweet woman who had hooked up with Sammy during some down time for the brothers and contacted him when she was ready to have the baby. A baby no one knew about until the last minute. He smiled at that, remembering the look on Sam’s face. The utter shock, then realization he was actually going to be a father, then back to total fear. Soon though, they found the joy in her. Losing her mother was hard on them all, especially knowing she was a causality of that they did for a living. 

On the small shelf was cloth baby books, her saved first baby shoes, and a porcelain angel. They did that in honor of their mother. Looking down at her face he could feel the tears stream down his cheeks. She was so peaceful, so uncharacteristically still. Gently, he brushed the brunette locks from her face, stroking her soft cheek as he spoke to her.

“I’m sorry, Mary. I tried so hard to keep you safe. I promised Sammy that I’d never let anything happen to you. It was the last promise I ever made to him and I couldn’t even do that right.”  
Stepping back, he sat down in the rocking chair, and began rocking her. It had been their night time ritual, dinner, a bath, then rocking in the chair until she was asleep. Now, he knew he would never get to do it again. “Never forget how much your daddy loved you. Even though we were clueless sometimes, we did the best we could. You were just born into the wrong family.”

“Dean,” Cas said very softly.

Dean quickly shook his head. The last thing he wanted to hear was what he had done right. Now, none of it mattered. It didn’t matter that when Sam had died Dean had quit hunting so he could raise Mary in as normal of a life as possible. It didn’t matter that the last eight months had been him mastering single fatherhood. It didn’t matter that she was happy, healthy, and loved more than he ever thought possible from him. She had changed his world. Even more so, she had changed him. 

In the quiet he just sat and rocked her, just like every other night. His fingers rubbed her small hand and traced the dark curls on her head. He wanted to memorize everything about her, every curl, every wrinkle. He didn’t know how much time had passed, how long he had sat there just studying her and wishing he could do everything over. Everything. Still, he knew that wasn’t possible. Fate. A word that had been rammed down his throat for most of his adulthood. Fate, the unescapable destiny that had taken everyone he loved from him. His mom, dad, Jo, Ellen, Bobby, Charlie, Kevin, so many over the years that he felt nauseated just remembering how many. Losing Sam had almost broken him. The only reason he didn’t give up completely was this little bundle in his arms. She was his heaven.

Mary had needed him and he had given up everything that he had ever known, to take care of her. Then, even that wasn’t enough. He gently wiped his tears off her face, no longer even realizing he was still crying. Mary was gone now and he knew what he wanted.

“Cas.”

The angel stepped out of the shadows, his face torn with empathy for the pain his friend was enduring. 

“It’s time.” Dean looked up to him with lost eyes.

Cas started to shake his head. “Dean, no.”

A gentle nod. “Yea, yea.” He wiped his face. “They’re all gone now.”

Castiel stepped closer to him. “Dean, please.”

Dean reached out and grabbed his hand. “You promised me Cas. You promised me, when the time had come, and its here buddy.” He kept shaking his head. “I can’t.” He looked down at Mary. “I can’t be here alone anymore.”

He knelt beside the broken man. “If this is what you want.”

Dean released a deep breath, pulled Mary close to him and brought up a small smile. “I want to go home.”

Cas nodded and placed his two fingers to Dean’s forehead. “Goodbye, my dear friend.”

With ease Castiel picked up the now quiet man and baby, into his arms and looked up to the heavens.

“We are ready my brothers.”


End file.
